pitythetrumper | (no subject)

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prior

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Freddie had more than his share of bruises, but he was actually feeling a little good about them. Funny, he'd never thought about actually forming any kind of relationship with Anatoly and yet here he was, becoming the man's confidante. The more he thought about it, though, the more he kind of understood that their shared history made it so they understood each other when many other people might not, even the people closest to them.

The idea of going home, of seeing the people that mattered most to them, Freddie understood that intimately. He didn't have a family, but he knew how he would have felt going home to see Florence if Florence had still been on speaking terms with him. He'd had never wanted to leave.

It was because of all that that he had a smile on his face when he walked into Prior's. A small smile. He didn't want to hurt his split lip.

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Prior's mouth set into a thin line. "You know what, I take back what I said about not understanding how you get punched so much."

"Oh, fuck you, Prior." He ran a hand over his face. "The last thing I need today is crap from you. I'm not some baby you have to protect from stray fists."

At the 'fuck you', Prior visibly flinched.

"Sorry, I forgot I'm not supposed to care that much," he snapped.

"And what in the hell is that supposed to mean?" Freddie knew exactly what it meant and he was trying like hell to ignore it.

"Oh, you know exactly what it means," Prior said, and flounced back into his chair, crossing his legs. "Honestly, Freddie. Do you really think it would be better for me to think you completely clueless and stupid?"

"Which implies you think I'm somewhat clueless and stupid." Freddie stared at Prior. "Do you have anything else you'd like to smack me in the face with or is that it?"

Prior felt like banging his head on the desk in front of him. He wondered if Freddie had any idea how much he was reminding him of Roger right now.

"No, I don't," he said levelly. "What I meant is that you're not stupid. You're deflecting, and you're in denial, and I don't like walking on eggshells around your commitment issues."

Freddie's jaw clenched. "I don't have commitment issues," he said and, before Prior could protest that, he continued. "I don't plan on being committed. Ever."

It was the truth in a way. He didn't plan on ever being committed to anyone again, but Prior was very quickly plowing through all of his barriers and it was terrifying him. Florence had been able to hurt him in ways that Freddie had thought impossible. He'd thought his heart was stone after leaving home and then she had shattered it and he wasn't going to let anyone, even Prior, do it to him again.

That actually... had not been the response that Prior was expecting.

"Then what was with all the 'of course I'd never cheat on you' righteous indignation? It's not like I'm asking for until dea - " He cut himself off. He couldn't say it. They both knew whose death would be doing them part in that case.

"You know what, nevermind. Clearly I misunderstood. And that thing I thought you said, you didn't say it. And I didn't say anything back. Okay?"

"No, not okay." Freddie stared at him hard. "I said I'd try. Not that I'd be successful. He and I have history. And it isn't even always him. Your good buddy Lex likes to start more fights than you'd probably believe." He could say that since at least one of the fights had nothing to do with Fight Club and everything to do with Lex's trip to Russia.

"And you didn't even bother to ask what the fight was about."

Now that was impressive. Freddie had somehow managed to completely change the subject while still maintaining the same righteous indignation.

Or maybe he really was dense.

"I wasn't talking about the fighting," Prior said irritably. "I'm talking about you confessing your feelings when you thought I was asleep. Though if you'd prefer to fight about fighting I guess we can do that. So. What was it about?"

He wasn't dense. He just didn't want to argue - or even talk about - his feelings and he flinched a little when Prior stated it baldly like that. "Why are you attacking me at all?" It wasn't supposed to be like this. He'd had a good start to the day. He'd done something good and here was Prior, yelling at him for it.

More deflecting.

Prior sighed, mostly just sounding tired.

"I'm not attacking you, Freddie. If you don't want to talk to me, you don't have to."

"There's nothing to say," Freddie answered, not looking at him.

Prior honestly wasn't sure how they'd gotten to this point. But he didn't know what else to say. What else to do, really, except for maybe bang his head on the desk.

He should have known better. The way Freddie had acted the other night had thrown up an amazing red flag.

"Then you should let me get back to my work," he said quietly, and picked up the sequins again.

"Fine," Freddie muttered under his breath. Without another word, he turned and walked back out. He wasn't sure what Prior expected from him, but it was too much. He'd lost one person he cared about. He wasn't about to do it again which just meant that he wouldn't care.

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